4 Things To Understand About The Divorce Mediation Process

When you get divorced, you have a lot of things to unpack. You need to unpack the emotional situation that you went through. You also need to figure out how to unwind your financial and physical lives as well.

This can be a complicated process, as it is often overshadowed by your emotional feelings related to the marriage and your spouse.

Working with a divorce mediator is not about repairing your relationship. It is about hearing each other's sides and figuring out how to make decisions that will allow you both to move forward.

#1: Mediator Is About Keeping Things on Track

First, it is essential to remember that it is not the mediator's job to help you get along with your spouse. It is their job to help ensure that you talk about, discuss, and make decisions about the topics that you have identified that you want to discuss. It is their job to keep the discussions focused and on-topic. When the mediator asks you for clarification or redirects you, keep in mind that they are doing so to keep you on-topic and ensure that everyone's interests are protected.

#2: Work to Avoid Interruptions 

Second, when you in the mediation process, work hard not to interrupt your spouse. The mediator is going to ensure that you both have a turn to speak. If something is on your mind when your spouse is talking, make a note of it so that you remember to address it when it is your turn. Interruptions disrupt the process and delay decisions.

Additionally, when you interrupt your spouse, it can feel like an attack on your spouse and put them on the defensive. That will make it harder to reach an agreement about separating your lives, so work your hardest not to interject or interrupt your spouse during the mediation process. Know that the mediator will give you a turn to speak as well.

#3: Don't Use Verbal Assaults

In mediation, you need to be on your best behavior. This is not the space for jabs or other types of verbal assaults. This is not a place to fight; it is a space to figure out the best steps that will allow you to move forward. If you verbally assault your spouse, you run the risk of the mediator canceling the session and having to deal with things in court, which can be a lot more expensive and a lot less personal.

#4: Explain Your Point of View

When you are talking during mediation, take time to explain your point of view. This is when you should say something and then add a statement to explain what you were thinking. For example, instead of just saying that you don't want to sell your vacation home right now, explain why you don't want to sell your vacation home right now. Perhaps you want to keep the house and allow your spouse to keep the primary residence. Or perhaps you would like to wait until summer to sell it when the market is better, and you will both get more out of it. Explaining your statements will help make collaborating and reaching an agreement with your spouse. Explanations help drive solutions.  

If you are getting ready to work with a divorce mediator, allow the mediator to keep things on track. Work to avoid interrupting your spouse, wait for your turn, and don't make visual assaults. Be sure to explain your point of view so that you can work towards solutions with your spouse.

For more information about divorce mediations, contact a local company, like Mediation Solutions LLC.